kenapa saye pulak yg kene rase bersalah?
kenapa saye pulak yg kene pujuk org tu kalau org tu merajuk pasal saye respon blk kpd soklan tu?
kenapa saye jugak yg rase x sedap hati?
KENAPA?
KENAPA?
KENAPA?
mungkin saye ditakdirkan utk jage hati org2 yg ade kat sekeliling saye. no matter it will hurt me or not, i'll still have to take care of their feelings. yes. no matter it will or not hurt my feelings. MINE. dari dulu lagi camni.
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sebermulanye dedulu saye pernah menegur org, lepas saye lak kene tegur balik:
"biarlah dia nak wat ape pown. bknnye dye suruh kau tgk wall fesbuk dye. bknnye dye suruh kau bace blog dia. kecoh gile kau nak bising2 pasal mende ni."
pdhal saye dah tegur dgn care seterang yg boleh. dgn care yg at least dye terase tp dye sedar.
bknnye saye pergi maki hamun dye.
bknnye saye pergi tampar dpn dan kate "fu** you bit**!".
xde langsong.
x pernah.
reasons saye tegur? pasal dye kawan saye. saye just nak tegur kwn2 saye. dose2 whatsover. mungkin saye bkn di posisi yg sesuai utk menegur. ye saye mengaku saye bknnye alim ke hape ke tp sedangkan org yg pernah mencuri pown boleh tegur org laen agar tak mencuri.
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lepas je kejadian tu, saye mmg dah berazam tahap gaban dah yg tamau nak amek tau hal sesape lagi. saye try tanam konsep membenci dgn hati. dgn kuasa mmg sah2 x dpt, nak menegur secare lisan ke hape ke org condemn, jadi ini je ah jln terbaek.
sejak saye ni seorg manusia, saye ade perasaan utk meng-ekspresi-kan diri saye sendiri.
ekspresikan ape yg saye minat, ape yg saye suke.
kalau org yg kat atas td tu kate xde "sape suruh org tgk wall" saye, saye mesti ah boleh jadi diri saye sendiri.
i am being myself at that moment.
seperti kejadian sblm ini, mulut2 pown bersuara:
yelaaaaah. kau je yg tau mende tu sorg. hoi dunia! admit ah die ni paling fanatik!
i was just saying, that i like my tv shows [or anything equivalent].
sumpah hancur luluh hati saye time tu.
mcm saye ni dah xde hati lak sampai org nak kate2 camtu skali.
bknnye saye kutuk agama saye sendiri.
bknnye saye kutuk mak bapak keluarga sesape.
bknnye saye wat statement2 racist.
saye hanye menjadi diri saye sendiri.
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mana pergi org yg tegur saye balik tu?
mana hilang pegangan "dia x suruh kau bace blog/wall dia" tu?
mana hilang org2 ni?
mana?
mana?
mana?
it's been 19 years now.
and i'm still taking care of people's heart.
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lirik bwh ni menerangkan perasaan saya sekarang ni. perasaan yg mane saye rase setiap hari.
perasaan nak jaga hati org.
perasaan nak abaikan ape yg org kate kpd saye.
perasaan nak tutup je telinge biarpown org yg saye selalu jage hati tu tak jage hati saye.
perasaan saye.
Get It Right [Glee]
What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right [2x]
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right [2x]
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mungkin korg x dpt nak rase ape yg saye rase melalui post ni. saye mmg x reti nak luahkan perasaan saye dlm bentuk tulisan.
saye pernah je tulis post pasal 'finding my own potential' [>>klik sini<<].
"dah tau kau punye potential, nape pulak nak sedih2 ni?"
why? because i need to feel good about myself. bile org dah kutuk kau hari2, you atleast need a reason to stay strong.
main point post ni : saye ade hati. jgn ah pakse2 saye nak jage hati korg. korg mungkin akan kate "aku x suruh pown kau jage hati aku!" tp korg x sedar yg org2 mcm saye ni [or maybe just me alone] ade je sekeliling korg. saye akan tetap cube jage hati org laen biarpown korg x suruh.
namun bile dah sampai limit, saye mmg dah x dpt nak tahan dah. saye kene gak suarakan ape yg saye rase. please people. open your eyes. think about others around you. don't just think about yourself.
kalau boleh nak je tulis panjang lagi tapi mende2 camni sepatutnya diluahkan dr hati ke hati. maen tulis2 masih x dpt nak tenangkan hati. masih.
saye dah letih asyik dipersalahkan.
ASSALAMUALAIKUM.
sirok do aku..sori laa mola..huhuhu...pas neh tak wat agi dah..huhuhu
stay strong dear :)